Something I’m noticing among the newer -core bands these days is the inability for them to come up with good band names. They’re not the only ones, but they seem to be the ones who are the most guilty of this abuse.
Names like Venom, Metallica, Megadeth, Slayer, Overkill, and Motörhead are all perfectly respectable names. They roll off the (often drunken) tongue easily. But some names are just terrible. The common theme these days tends to be an entire (or incomplete) sentence. Often incoherently ridiculous. Seriously. Fucking ridiculous.
Here are some examples that are in no particular order (other than that which I typed them in):
Bring Me the Horizon
What are you going to do with it once you get it? But regardless, boy do I have a deal for you. If you buy now, I’ll throw in this beautiful plot of land on the moon with a grrrreat view.
Between the Buried and Me
Soil? That’s what’s between buried people and non-buried people. Well, also worms, coffins, maggots, grass, some flowers, oh and that fucking dog shit. Goddamn it, somebody clean this mess up.
Iwrestledabearonce
Is that your claim to fame? You wrestled a bear? Wonderful. What does that have to do with your music? And who is the “I” referred to? The band has 5 members.
Dillinger Escape Plan
Bit late for that, shitforbrains. He died in 1934.
We Are Defiance
Ooo. Tough guys. Simply “Defiance” would have made a better name, but making it the whole sentence just makes them sound like petulant six-year-olds.
Killwhitneydead
So Whitney Houston makes bad music.. so what? That’s no reason to kill her. That’s just rude.
As I Lay Dying
Please, hurry the fuck up about it, would you?
Arsonists Get All the Girls
Really? Because they’re hot? Haha, geddit? Nah. Who gives a flying fuck about arsonists and their dating habits.
The Devil Wears Prada
So given that they’re a Christian band, is saying that the devil wears a particular brand of clothing libel? Or are they just saying that people shouldn’t wear fancy clothes?
Bullet For My Valentine
Please, give her the gun too. Then look at them run away.
See You Next Tuesday
OK cool. So after that’s done, what then? Do they only play gigs on Tuesdays? Or is that the only day they have free for a social life?
Shot Down Sun
What does this even mean?
You Me At Six
Fuck that. I got shit to do.
This Runs Through
What does? Where does it run? Through what? What? Please complete your sentences. You can’t leave me hanging with an unknown “this.”
Starring Janet Leigh
What? The people who came up with this band name were clearly stoned out of their fucking minds and watching some 1950′s MGM movie. And when those words came on the screen, maybe they paused it so one of their number could take a piss. When he returned, they were all like “doooood. thatdbeafuckinawesomename. passthebong.”
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